Sunday, January 20, 2013

Perfection is Not a Requirement



Last week, outside my daughter’s dance class, I waited in the quiet of my van, surrounded by the groceries and Walmart bags I had collected on my weekly errand run.  As I waited, young girls of various ages came in and out … going to and from their dance classes.  I was intrigued by each young girl …  I’ve seen toddlers in their tu-tus clinging tight to their mothers’ hands; while others run eagerly ahead as their mothers caution them to not run into the street.  I’ve seen elementary and middle school girls struggling to find their bags and their shoes and excitedly telling their mothers about the things they learned in class.  I’ve seen teenage girls nervously playing with their phones while other girls are giggling and whispering and gossiping about “friends” they may secretly envy.   I’ve seen shy, quiet girls steadily gaining confidence as they become more poised and graceful with each class.  

As a woman who has recently crept into my forties, I am thankful to be beyond those years … grateful to be comfortable in my own skin and happy to be who I am (despite my flaws).  Of course I have “bad hair days” when my flaws seem more apparent than others, but somehow I can usually find a hair brush and an iron and manage to get my attitude combed right back into place.  

Self esteem can be an issue for some … especially for women … and particularly for teenage girls.  There will always be people who have “better hair” … those who are thinner or in better shape, have more money -- wear name brand jeans or drive nicer cars, have more talents, more luck or more time, and those who are more successful, etc… but that is okay! 

The grass will always be greener on the other side of the fence … and others’ hair will always seem to be a little curlier or straighter or not quite as gray … but we never truly know what lies at the roots … what truly goes on inside another person’s heart!  The woman with the fancy house may wish she had a family to share it with; the family in the tiny home may be content just to have each other ... the person who is the life of the party may feel lonely despite the crowd; the person who often spends time alone, may gain strength in her moments of solitude … the girl who is tiny may feel she is fat while the person who is heavy may simply want health ... the student who gets an A- may feel she could have done better while the student with all C’s may be ecstatic that their efforts paid off.  

Self esteem is NOT a realization that we are better than others … or even a realization that we are similar … we are all different!  We have different personalities and ideals.  Self esteem is simply an acceptance of ourselves … our talents and our flaws.   Of course, we should always strive to better … if it is something we deem as important … but not as a way to impress someone else.  Perfection is not a requirement.  Comparisons are a hazard!   Life is not meant to be a competition … or a popularity contest … we do not need to prove ourselves to others -- they will be too busy fixing their own hair to notice anyway! :-).  So join me today in quietly acknowledging and accepting our own flaws (and successes) and lets go ahead and give someone else a compliment or a smile ... you never know the kind of "hair day" they may be having.  

 Now if you’ll excuse me …I’ve got to run … it’s been an enjoyable and busy day at home … and I haven’t even had time to do my hair!   :-)   

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