True Love

With Valentine’s Day a recent memory, and my Grandparent's 66th wedding anniversary coming up next week, I thought I would take this opportunity to share with you what I have learned about True Love.

For me, true love is knowing when your spouse needs a hug and accepting when they need their space.  It is knowing the difference between a smile that means "I am happy" and a smile that means "I need you".  It's answering each others' questions before they are asked.  It's sending flowers that come from the heart.  It's being the rock when your spouse is a wreck and finding the bright side when it may not be clear.  It's the comfort found in the touch of a foot in the middle of the night.  It's encouraging your spouse to try new things .... and agreeing to try new things because it makes your spouse happy.  It is making up after making mistakes ... and holding each other, not holding a grudge.  It's having patience (with a touch of persistence).  It's allowing your spouse space to pursue their passions even if it takes long hours, knowing you will spend time together later.  It's accepting your differences.  It is sharing both good times and bad, working together toward a common goal, and giving and taking and doing for each other.  It’s cooking for your spouse even when it's a task, but having your spouse return the favor when it's asking too much.  It's viewing your spouse as an extension of yourself ... there to accomplish the things that are out of your reach.  It's knowing that true love is a gift and working hard to keep it alive.  It is growing old together, looking out for each other, and looking back with pride at where your lives have gone.  It is looking around at a room filled with family that grew from your love.

So whether your relationship is a product of “love at first sight” or years of companionship, true love is something that many people have and many others dream of.  If you are one who has found true love ... I am happy for you; if you are one who is still looking for your true love ... don't fret, someone is out there for you.  For those of you who think it's been lost ... turn to your partner and start a new; and for those of you who may not have true love with a partner written in your cards (and even for those of you who do) always remember the importance of loving yourself ... don't forget to be your own true love!

Happy Belated Valentines Day to all .... and Happy Anniversary to my Grandma and Grandpa (Jerome and Norma) Einck!

Faith To Let Go

My previous posts have been a product of knowledge I have gained from experience.  However, this post is about parenting ... if there is anything I have learned for sure about parenting, it is that the moment I start to think I may have gotten things figured out, my kids grow and move on to yet another new stage ... and they graciously bring me along for the ride!  Most recently I have been trying to get a grasp on the idea of letting go (especially of my 15 year old son) to allow them to experience new things.  I am struggling to ascertain a balance between being too lenient versus being too controlling, being protective enough versus being overprotective, and being concerned versus going into an all out panic attack with anxiety!  (Advice anyone?)

Earlier this week, it had been snowing during the day ... not bad weather exactly, just January weather ... and yet my son wanted to go with friends to the basketball playoff game out of town that night ... uffdah!  I REALLY did not want him to go ... there were a million things I could imagine happening ... but I also knew that it is important for a teenage boy to have fun with friends, show some school spirit, and learn to navigate through life on his own!  Although my instincts told me to lock him in his room til he is 30, I decided to take the high road and call my husband for assistance in the decision making.  (He can be a bit more level headed than I!)  My husband decided he could go and I reluctantly agreed.  Luckily my son appeased his panic-stricken  mother by agreeing to text me when he met up with his friends to take off to the game, call me as they went up a well-known, dangerous, steep hill on the way, and text me again when he got to the destination. (okay, so I am still leaning toward overprotective!) I spent the rest of the evening trying to shrug off my feelings of anxiety even though I knew he was safe until I received another text that he was on his way home...I don't know how I am going to survive these teenage years!           

I guess what I do know is that all a person can do at this stage is to have faith ... faith in our children, faith in our own decisions and especially a faith in God to watch out for our kids!  For now, I will just have to take a deep breath, say a prayer, and grip the steering wheel of life as we head down this new path on our journey ... and of course hug my children each time they return!   

The Smile Amid the Crowd

It has been a very busy week!!  Mostly, it has been a week of running to activities with the kids -- not to mention the early morning exercise classes, and full days of work at the office, as well as housework (well, okay, I didn't do much housework) but it has definitely been a busy week!  There was literally at least one activity every single night this week and I am starting to wonder if I am coming or going!  :)

Monday was the first day of activities.  My mother and I drove 30-45 minutes to attend my son's JV  basketball game out of town to cheer from the stands.   Tuesday was a bit of a challenge!  We essentially had to be two places at once since both kids had nearly conflicting activities ... so, my mother ran my daughter to her activity where she needed to be early to practice her routine ... meanwhile, my husband and I drove to our son's JV basketball game nearly an hour away.  We watched as long as we could and then left to rush back home in time to watch our daughter perform her cheerleading routine at half time of the girls game.  Whew -we made it in time!  We joined her proud Grandparents in the stands to watch.  She did an awesome job -- she and another girl even did the splits!  (By the way, my son’s team won their game by one point -- yeah team!)  Wednesday was a slightly slower evening of running -- I simply had to drop my daughter off at her series of dance classes and run errands while I waited.  Thursday I left work early (thankfully I work in a family-friendly atmosphere with an understanding boss) picked up my daughter, met my mother and headed to yet another of my son's basketball games.  Friday was the final game of the season!  My husband and I tried to arrive early because the stands were filling fast!  Although I absolutely love watching basketball games, I am ready to take a short break from the running ... and ready to move on to watch him excel in the next sports season (is it – my favorite – baseball season yet?)

I am not trying to wear you out with our schedule, nor am I trying to brag about my "busy-ness" -- I know that many parents out there can quickly relate to our scenario!  It is not that we need to have such a hectic schedule ... we choose to give our children many opportunities and choose to share in their achievements. I am well aware of the fact that our lives will not be like this for long … our time with our children is precious and I am determined to savor every moment that we have together today … for all too soon, they will be grown! 

I feel that my children need to know that what they are doing is important and that, win or lose, I will always be their biggest fan!  I am proud of my kids ... proud of course because my son is talented in sports and is one of only a few freshmen to regularly play on the JV basketball team; and proud because my daughter is a talented dancer and was chosen to dance/compete at the Iowa State Fair; and proud of both of my kids for getting good grades.  Of course I am proud of all that!  But mostly, I am proud because my son's heart goes out to his teammates when they don't get a chance to play and because my daughter has the courage to dance on stage in front of many and to attend a cheerleading camp on her own.  Perhaps in all this, they are learning the values I am trying to teach them ... the values of compassion and courage and strength to name a few.  I am very proud to be the constant smile amid the crowd, there to share in their accomplishments ... I am proud to be their mom! 

Happy In Your Skinny Jeans

I started an exercise class this morning!  By 5:30 am, I was lunging and squatting and "downward dogging" ... doing pushups and stomach crunches and planks ... an  entire bootcamp of exercises!!  I brought along hand weights as instructed – but who needed hand weights – I had enough weight on my hips and thighs to suffice!  With  more than a few pounds to lose and with a major lack of core muscle strength, I expected to be hurting BY TOMORROW – but little did I expect to be in pain already TODAY!!  By  6:30 a.m., my  legs felt like jello and I felt like I had lifted an entire Chevy truck!  As I headed down the road toward home,  I called the kids to wake them (I didn’t think I would be able to manage my usual "good morning" walk from room to room and down to the basement and back.)  Although I had planned on taking a quick shower, I decided on a hot bath instead.  As I stepped into the tub, my legs still felt like jello and leaning back into the water to "relax" was entirely too reminiscent of doing a stomach crunch!

Once dressed, I headed into the kitchen for a cup of coffee.  Little did I know that simply lifting my coffee cup to my lips would be more than my sore muscles could handle -- can someone lend me a straw?!  Once the kids were ready for school, I headed into work where I met a few coworkers in the office.  They had been at the class with me and, although they were in better shape than I, they too were feeling the effects of the morning workout!  We laughed and made jokes and told others about our experience.  I think we are all going to be gluttons for punishment and give it another try on Thursday! Wow -- two days a week of this – I wonder if  I will still be alive yet on Friday! 

The moral of this story is that you may have to go through a few “unhappy” or at least “uncomfortable” moments on your journey.  If getting healthy and exercising are goals that will make you happy tomorrow then you will need to put in a little effort today.  But don’t forget to enjoy the ride – enjoy the time spent with friends while exercising and have a sense of humor … go ahead and laugh at yourself! Your muscles may not be “happy” today – but you will have an inner joy in knowing that you will be healthier tomorrow (and you might even look great in a pair of skinny jeans in the near future!)

There Must Be a Reason for Everything (Don't Worry, Be Happy)

I am not a person who likes change.  I have never liked anyone "moving my cheese" as they say!  However, my cheese seems to have been traveling at the speed of light in recent years and I have been attempting to make my way through the maze of possible reasons.

I believe that everything happens for a reason … some may believe this and some may not, but I happen to think it is true.  Circumstances change and people come in and out of our lives ... teachers, neighbors, coworkers, bosses, doctors, friends and loved ones ... all leading us on a path … there to teach us something to bring with us on our journey through life.  Some people may teach us how to be calm amidst adversity and others may teach us how to face our fears and dive in to the thing we have been dreaming of doing. We can choose to learn from our experiences, be thankful for them, decide to do something with the insight we've gained ... or we can sit back and forfeit our happiness, wondering why things happened and worrying when the next big thing will come!

I used to be a person who worried about everything … little things, big things … things I could control and things I could do nothing about – about the weather, what people might think, about work, etc.  I even worried about finding a doctor to go to since my usual one left.  But mostly I worried about the health and safety of my loved ones and myself!

Eventually, I figured out that worry REALLY does no good at all … it simply robs you of your happiness!  The only thing I have found to cure worries is to ask yourself what you can DO TODAY to prevent the things that worry you!  (But realize that for some things there is actually nothing you can do – for those things I say “let go and let God!”)  But for the things that you can try to do something about … go ahead and DO something ... yes, make more action plans ... action plans to take charge of your worries before your worries take charge of you!

For example, with a family history of health issues, I have always been one to take preventative action!  I am not one to sit around waiting for my turn at ill health!  Trying to eat healthy and exercise daily and trying to make sure your family does the same (all definitely easier said than done) are a few things you can do to help assure good health.  Another thing you can do is to have regular checkups and exams such as mammograms, pap tests, prostate exams, colonoscopies, dermatology checkups etc … anything to be proactive.  I strongly urge this of my readers!  After I found a new doctor that is, like me, proactive, I recently went through some extensive testing … and when it was all said and done, the tests all came back fine – I am a picture of health and I am grateful.  But why?  Maybe the reason was simple – I just needed to find a doctor who understood, could ease my mind and let me remain in control of my happiness … or maybe it had something more to do with  my favorite angel …I don’t know … but after all, there Must be a Reason for Everything ...