December Perceptions

The first of December heaved us into winter with a blustery snowfall and lured us into the holidays with the spirit of Christmas.  Outside the safety of my living room window, the roads grew ice covered and slick, and I was glad our kids were a bit further south where the weather was not quite as brisk.  By Sunday morning, the weather had calmed to a gentle snowfall and my husband and I decided to take a road trip to have lunch with our kids before they buckled down to start studying for upcoming college finals.  I am not typically a fan of winter weather roads, but as long as my husband was behind the wheel, I was up for the drive.  My heart was full and I enjoyed the sentiment that encompassed our conversation as we proceeded down the road for the next hour or so.  Just outside our vehicle windows, the tranquility of the fresh snowfall stretched out before us.  The morning sunlight sparkled and danced among the frosted trees while blankets of snow, laced with sunshine, protected the hills as they rolled softly into the horizon.  In the distance, a snow angel's presence graced the landscape with a peaceful glow as if touched by the heavens.

Just a week ago, I had surgery on my eyes to correct cataracts that had been trying to cloud my vision since birth.  After being destined to wear glasses the majority of my life; suddenly, I was able to see into the distance with 20/20 vision, and my new eyes blessed me with a perspective of the world that I hadn't seen in years.  That morning I was a bit surprised to detect that individual tree branches bore tiny twigs that sprouted hope from each limb.  Chubby squirrels could be found scurrying into trees with cheeks full of nuts, and I was drawn to a vibrant, red cardinal patiently watching over the world from its' perch high above.  Curiously, in the distance, snowmen with carrot noses waited patiently for young children, and houses held stories inside the dimly lit windows of their homes.  And so, my thoughts were drawn out into the world ...

Typically, my perspective is filled with my own present moments and my heart tends to overflow with gratitude (at least most of the time).  However, once in a while, especially around the holidays, I sometimes find my perspective to be a little bit off kilter.  I find myself longing for the fictional perfection found in Hallmark movies and fairy tales, while social media dangles glimpses of glamorous lives as others want us to see them.  It can be easy to forget that there is a reality behind every perfect picture and a continued (and less blissful) story follows each Hallmark-ending kiss once the credits have rolled.  It is important to remember that there are shadows within the light in every window and a struggle at the helm of each success.

My recent 20/20 vision of the far away world has also brought about a less-than-perfect view of the world right under my nose.  (Yes, I now need to wear reading glasses as I write this blog.)  This has reminded me that it is important to remember that there is life  beyond our fingertips, in fact more than the eye can even see.  We are each but a tiny twig sprouting from a multitude of greater branches, and there is beauty to be found when you behold the rest of the picture.  Sometimes, we need to take a moment to witness the beauty of the bigger picture to bring joy to the world that is close to our hearts.

So in the spirit of the holiday season, please join me today in seeing the beauty in the world around us, reaching out to those less fortunate than ourselves.  May your cups be half full and your grass be ever green, and may your world glisten with a sparkle of hope for the coming year...

Happy Holidays - Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

We Are Going to be Okay...

We moved our daughter (our second and youngest child) to college a month or so ago.  It truly felt like life was ending.  The first couple weeks were the hardest!  I knew that I would miss her, but I wasn't prepared for the anxiety and all the strong emotions that consumed me day in and day out.  I was desperate to know that my baby girl was "okay" while she in turn was exercising her newfound independence and didn't feel the need to be in contact with her mother.  It felt as though she may never need her mother again and life as I had known it for many years was over.  Suddenly ... 

• Daily routines were completely out of wack and I had extra hours that I wasn't sure what to do with;
• Dinner plates were even fewer than when our son left for college three years ago (Who am I kidding?  Meals in general have been fewer since she left.)
• The house was empty in the mornings and I no longer had to try to keep quiet as I made my coffee, etc., and I could even belt out my favorite songs in the shower if I wanted to.  (Though typically, I've now spent my mornings in silence, and in fact, I sometimes now show up for work with my voice slightly horse since there is no one to say "good morning" to as my husband leaves for work long before dawn.)
• Her bedroom is hauntingly clean, her bed continually made and there are no clothes on her floor - a constant reminder of her absence as I pass by (I finally had to just shut her door!)
• And I have been parking my car in the garage now after EIGHT years of parking on the street.  Since the kids began driving, we had them park in the garage to assure that their windshields were always clear on winter mornings.  (A number of times already I have hunted for my keys or walked out the front door in search of my car.)  Yep, habits are hard to break!  

In the weeks to follow, since they left for school, the kids have each been home a couple times already.  I've washed a few loads of their laundry, listened to a few stories, and given a few words of solicited advice.  I've received texts, SnapChats and phone calls in between visits, and I've even been honored with a few minutes or so of Facetime.  Though there have been a few struggles, they are doing "okay".

Meanwhile, I have managed to fill the extra minutes ...

• I've enrolled in a class toward finishing my degree
• I've had extra bonding time with my husband
  
• I've spent time with old friends - drinking coffee, going for walks, and more ...
  
• I've crossed off new bucket list activities .... I made salsa for the first time (it's the little things)
• And for what it is worth, I've managed to write another blog (it has been OVER a year since my last blog post, but with the stress of the above, I have been struggling to find inspiration.)

Anyway, I've got to go charge my phone just in case the kids text or call. 

And

although we may still be adjusting, 

I think we just might be "okay"...