It's HERE!!! Check it out!!

I am so excited (that is all I can say right now)  Check it out ... I am definitely "Happy Today!" :)

I'd Give You My Life - Kendra Kleve : AuthorHouse

It will also be available soon at "Happiness Is" in Decorah, Iowa.  (Watch for more information ... you could even get a signed copy!)

Also, please check out my facebook page titled "I'd Give You My Life (A Mother's Wish For Her Children) By Kendra Kleve" and be sure to "Like" my page!!

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

A crisp, autumn breeze greets me as I head out the door for my daily walk and I instinctively hug my shoulders to stay warm.  The quiet of the morning fills my soul as I am surrounded by the gentle pitter patter of falling leaves.  Bright orange and yellow maple leaves are my favorite part of autumn … I long to dive into the nearest pile, but manage to contain myself … I only wish my children would not have outgrown our annual leaf-diving rituals!!  (Maybe I can still try to convince them to join me later today.)  As I head around the corner, I am blinded by the rising sun reminding me that the afternoon should be a little warmer once the sun has fully risen.  Through the quiet of the morning, I hear the hum of a far off tractor and my thoughts go out to my husband.  Although today is Sunday and routinely a day for quality, family bonding, the kids and I will have to find other ways to spend the day since Shawn will be confined to the field once again.  It seems like forever since I have actually spent time with him during waking hours!  Although in many respects, autumn is my favorite season, being a “harvest widow” can be very challenging on my patience!!  

They have always said that “patience is a virtue” but no one ever said it would be easy!  Although waiting is often the hardest part, many things are truly worth waiting for.  Often we wait … we wait for prayers to be answered, wait on nature to take its course, wait for our hard work to show fruits of our labor.  We wait on babies to be conceived, and to be delivered … we wait for our children to learn and grow to become successful men and women.  We may even have to wait for our niece or daughter or friend to write another blog post.    :-)

But an important thing to note, is that patience is not to be confused with procrastination ... waiting til the time is right, til tomorrow, til next spring, til next year, or “someday” … til the kids have grown, til we  lose 5 pounds, til our inbox is empty … (These are all excuses!)  Patience is meant for things that are beyond our control!  

Now, as I sit in my living room surrounded by piles of unfolded laundry (oh damn, that’s procrastination), I am startled by the ringing of the phone.  It is my husband calling to say that he may make it home for supper tonight.  I head into the kitchen, take some meat out to thaw and open the refrigerator to find that we are out of milk.  With a smile on my face and a spring in my step, I head out the door to get a gallon of milk from the Mini Mart up the street.  On the way, I swing into the post office to see if the first printing of my book has arrived yet from the publishers.  

To my readers (you know who you are), I leave you with this … “Good things come to those who wait!” 

Just Do It!

Time has once again escaped my grasp and it has been nearly a month since my last blog post.  When I last wrote, I had the ill-conceived notion that life would slow down once the kids were back in school … but I was greatly mistaken!  Baseball and softball simply gave way to football and volleyball, and dance competitions turned back into weekly dance classes.  A new school year brought with it a plethora of homework for the kids while continuous deadlines still greet me at the office and my husband has recently left me widow for the demands of fall harvest.    

Meanwhile, I have been diving back into the goals which I had set aside for the summer.  I have recently become immersed in the final publishing stages of my book and my thoughts are consumed with perfecting the final details.  The journey of putting this book together has been a blast (for the most part) with dreams turning into plans and plans turning into actions and visions becoming reality right before my eyes!  The support and encouragement of my family has been amazing as they held my hand while I dove into big decisions, waited while I stopped to get a photo or two (or maybe six), and continually reviewed the entire book for the umpteenth time just because I added (or changed) a particular photo or word.  

However, with the final proof and changes staring me in the face and the finish line drawing near, suddenly fear has set in and I feel the need to procrastinate!  Why is it that making the final changes, hitting that “send” button and taking a step over the finish line is such a challenge?  I guess because we can’t go back once we’ve reached our goals … and the "what if’s" suddenly take over … What if this was a bad idea?  What if I make a mistake?  What if the publishers make a mistake?  What if it doesn’t turn out like I planned?  What if the poem wasn’t really worth publishing?  What if people think I am “crazy” … or worse yet a “terrible writer”?  (the list goes on and on) …

I think this is common as we come close to reaching any goal.  I know others who have gone through this process with other major life decisions … deciding to take on a new job, or to retire after many years of working, or perhaps to leave a bad marriage after many years of trying.  Like my book, these are all things that we may have been thinking of for years, planning for, changing our minds a few times, and changing our minds again … for quite awhile.  Although these are things we may know we want, the final decisions are always the hardest.  Accepting the new job, making your retirement date official, or perhaps signing the divorce papers are all similar to my “hitting the send button”.  Of course, these examples are much greater decisions than my meager little book, but the goal and decision process are the same.  

Ultimately, as we reach our goals, we need to go ahead and take that step over the finish line and not look back!!  The important thing to remember is that we can be proud of the courage and effort it took to tackle our goals and take charge of our own happiness.  Of course there is no way to know what the final product will be like … and it can be scary … but we need to learn to face our fears and accept the risk of making mistakes.  As a wise person recently told me, “if we don’t make mistakes we aren’t living.”  So, if it is something you really want to do, you need to go for it … or in the words of NIKE, “Just Do It!” ... Now can someone please hit the “send” button for me?

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

I finish lacing up my tennis shoes and glance at my watch as I head out the door for my morning walk.  Although the kids have been in school for a week now, we are anticipating another hot, summer-like day and an early out for the students; but for now, the air still feels cooler and I take a deep breath convincing myself to continue down the road rather than opting for a cup of coffee on the porch.

My mind wanders as I head toward the park and I think about the things I have planned for the day as well as for the coming season.  Now that the kids are back in school again, it is time to step back onto the path toward those goals once again.  The summer flew by and much of my time consisted of running after my children as they pursued their activities.  Although I loved every last second of it, it is rather refreshing to slow down my pace at least a little bit with the change of the season.  It seems that with the rush of summer, it is easy to let personal goals fall by the way side.  I know that in my case, I purposely set aside some of my goals with the intent that I would pick up where I left off when the kids went back to school.   Perhaps you did the same.

But then there are the goals that are a personal challenge in the first place, such as our bad habits, and are easy to lose ground on when we find an excuse.  Perhaps you had exercise and weight loss goals and made progress throughout the first part of the year; but with the hustle and bustle of the summer, you lost track of your exercise program, gave in to unhealthy foods, and even gained a few pounds.  Maybe you had planned on saving money to put toward a bucket list vacation, but ended up spending the money on other expenses.  Perhaps you had planned to spend more quality time with family or find time for yourself, but in an effort to "get all your work done" before you could "allow" yourself time for personal gain, you ended up rarely finding time for the things you would have enjoyed.  Whatever your goals, perhaps you took one step forward this year, only to find that you took two steps back in recent months.  That is okay.  We could get caught up in blaming others and finding excuses for our recent lack of progress (that is easy to do) but ultimately we are each in charge of our own decisions each day.  The year is not over yet! 

It is time to take a deep breath, accept our lack of progress and add these items to the list of goals once again ... no need to give up and take five steps back!  These goals should not be viewed as "failures" or things we are unable to achieve.  These goals should simply be viewed as our greatest personal challenges ... ultimately, they may be our greatest accomplishments someday ... we are bound to get it right eventually!  Now lets turn ourselves around, tackle these challenges, and take "one step forward" toward that goal line once again!!  I know we can do it.  Are you with me?

Summer's End ...

As an enjoyable and eventful summer comes to an end, my family and I will soon
be trading in our shorts and flip flops for sweaters and jeans and the kids
have already traded in their ball gloves for volleyballs and football gear.
The season itself has packed up its sun-filled days and blossoming fields to
make room for colorful trees and cooler nights.  As I sit on the front porch,
I wonder where the summer has gone, and as I think back, I recall exactly how
the Kleve family summer went ...

Of course, as many of you know, our summer consisted of baseball games and
dance competitions; but our summer also involved much more than that.  It was
a time of shared family moments and memories to last a lifetime.  Throughout
the summer, we shared simple moments including many evenings grilling supper
on the porch and we even found a night or two to roast hot dogs and
marshmallows around the fire pit.  We had a few movie nights when it was too
hot and we were too tired to go outside, and we had a number of family ball
games in the back yard when our busy schedules and the weather would allow. 

The kids and I found time to add an item to our bucket lists (and check it
off) as we spent an eventful evening eating supper with my mother at the
Japanese Hibachi Grill in Prairie Du Chien.  Although sitting around a hot,
flaming grill is probably more suited for cooler weather, we enjoyed watching
and participating as the chef did his grilling and we enjoyed trying new foods
and spending some quality time with "Grandma Net".  

Shawn and I and the kids especially enjoyed our annual family vacation the
last week in July.  The six day trip was too long to describe in detail, but
we had a wonderful time making family memories and checking a variety of items
off of our bucket lists.  The items included attending a Kansas City Royals
baseball game at Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City; attending a St. Louis
Cardinals baseball game at Busch stadium in St. Louis, Missouri; and touring
Arrowhead stadium where the Kansas City Chiefs play professional football.  We
also enjoyed eating at a Brazillian Steakhouse for the first time; watching a
Urinetown production in a Theater in the Park; touring one of only 12 federal
reserve banks in the US; riding a tram to the top of the Gateway Arch; touring
the Anheuseur-Busch Brewing company (our second brewery tour on our bucket
list) and climbing around on a ropes course 19 feet in the air.  We enjoyed
quiet, family moments hanging out in our hotel room, swimming in the hotel
pool, playing simple games like air hockey, and ordering pizza to be delivered
to our room after a long day of adventure.  We also partook in some traditional
vacation moments such as taking a riverboat tour on the Mississippi River and
going to Build a Bear Workshop where Karissa made her fourth Build-A-Bear
souvenier of our vacationing career.

Throughout the summer, we found time to attend two family reunions -- the Koch
family reunion on my mother's extended side of the family as well as the Bohr
family reunion with many of my aunts, uncles and first cousins from my Dad's
side.  We also enjoyed an evening of Kleve family bonding when my
sister-in-law, Nikki, came home from Chicago. 

Recently, we enjoyed some family bonding time with my brother, Rob, and his wife,
Jessica, when they came home from Arizona so our family could put on a successful,
scholarship fundraising event in our brother, Adam's, memory.  Last weekend, we held
the 2nd annual, Adam J Bohr Celebration and Casino Night.  It was an excellent way to
spend time honoring Adam, celebrating his life and raising money to continue funding the
Scholarship set up in his memory.  A lot of work went into planning and organizing the event throughout the summer and it culminated into a memorable event with lots of
socializing, casino fun, and a successful silent auction and great raffle
give-aways.  I am grateful to all who participated in any way and look forward
to another successful event again next year.            

Lastly, as the kids started back to school this week, we gave our summer one
last hurrah as Shawn and I and the kids headed to Des Moines yesterday for a
bonding, family weekend and an Iowa Cubs minor league baseball game.  We
enjoyed a four-hour-or-so drive to Des Moines since we forgot our tickets at
home and had to turn around and get them (good thing we had left early).  In
Des Moines, we checked out the Iowa Hall of Fame before heading to the hotel.
It was a rainy day and the hotel had an outdoor pool, so we didn't
spend any time swimming on this excursion.  Once checked in, we had a nice
meal at Mescotti's, an Italian restaurant not far from the hotel.  We shared
good food and some great laughs as we enjoyed our time at the restaurant.
Luckily, the rainy day subsided to simply a cool, damp evening as we headed
into Principal Park for the game.  We enjoyed watching the game and hoped for
extra innings (or at least not a rain-out) as the Cubs beat the Oklahoma City
Red Hawks 4 to 1.  Around 10 pm, we headed back to our hotel where we settled
in for the night, watched a little TV, and called it a day.  This morning we
slept in, grabbed a bite at Perkins and headed back home and back to
reality once again.

Now tonight, as the kids work on their homework for tomorrow, I peel a
few cucumbers and slice a couple tomatoes as we anticipate Shawn coming home
any moment for supper.  We will be grilling hamburgers once again and enjoying a
few laughs on the porch.  Although summer may have "ended", we are simply beginning
the next season as we look forward to an autumn filled with more family fun. We did have an
eventful and enjoyable summer ... now I better go start the grill so it's ready when Shawn gets home ...  

Reaching for the Stars

When children are small, they dream of becoming famous singers, dancers and performers, professional athletes, astronauts, doctors, published authors and even the President of the United States.  Well, why not?  It never hurts to dream big and aim for the stars!!

Yesterday I watched a number of talented performers compete in the Bill Riley Talent show at the Iowa State Fair.  Karissa and her partner, Brooke, had a successful year at area county fairs winning first place in both Winneshiek and Howard Counties and placing second in Fredericksburg as well.  Because of their accomplishments, they were chosen to compete at the Iowa State Fair.  I would say simply having the honor of performing on the Anne and Bill Riley Stage is a major accomplishment and I am very proud of the girls!!  The girls should also be proud of their own accomplishments and proud of their hard work, courage and talent ... but they should keep aiming for those stars as well ... and a first place win next year at the Iowa State Fair!   

Throughout the summer, I have enjoyed watching a number of talented and brave performers attempting to tackle their dreams.  Whether officially winning or losing, all of these performers are winners of some sort ... destined for greatness ... achievers at attempting to reach their goals ... at facing their fears ... trying their hardest to do their best at the things they enjoy ... and inspiring others to have the courage to do the things that they dream of as well.  You never know, the singer that sang off key because she was scared, may be the next American Idol ... the gymnast that lost her balance and fell may learn how to pick herself up and continue on when she fails ... and the dancer that continuously places second or even sixth may learn that life does not always work out as you planned and be determined to work even harder each time.  These performers are ALL winners ... even if it is simply at finding a pride in knowing that they gave their dreams a shot.

In my opinion, one key to aiming for the stars is remembering to keep your feet firmly planted on the ground as you climb up that mountain!  So you want to become a major league baseball player ... well by all means aim for it ... but always remember to keep "realistic" ideas in check as well.  It is important to continue your education (maybe you can be a walk-on for the college baseball team).  In the end, if you don't quite make it as a major league star, you may have at least managed to climb up a mountain to be a successful coach, or sports writer, or a farmer who plays softball in his spare time  ... or perhaps you may be the best parent coach for your son or daughter's little league team some day!  Those would all be successes to be proud of!

To speak from experience, for an English class my sophomore year in high school, we each wrote a hypothetical letter to ourselves about 15 or 20 years after graduation.  In my letter, I indicated that I was happily married, had two children and lived on the beach front.  I was a famous, published novelist and was well on my way writing a book of poems.  Well, in reality, it is now just over 20 years since I graduated from high school.  I am happily married and have two children.  I am in the process of publishing my first coffee table book, have written a plethora of poems and have begun writing a blog to share with the world.  I do not live on the beach front (though I have visited it at least) and the Turkey River runs not too far away from my house. :)  Although I am certainly not a famous, published novelist (yet), I would say I have succeeded at climbing at least a small mountain.

So my advice to you is simple.  Keep aiming for the stars ... find your passion ... live your passion (whatever makes you happy.)  Climb up the mountain ... you can do it ... you just have to give it a try!  Don't let anyone tell you that you can't or that your dreams are silly or unattainable!  Although you will win some and lose some, it always pays to keep on trying ... don't give up!  If it is your passion, keep aiming for those stars with your head held high and your feet firmly planted on the ground.  With each step, you will be that much closer to the top of the mountain and ultimately closer to the stars ... I know in my heart you can do it ... you just have to believe ... 

I Am Having A Ball

I hang up the phone and shut down my computer as the stack of unfinished tasks grows larger and larger on my office desk.  I grab my keys and my purse and hand a file folder to Wendy as I dash out of the office.  I am in a hurry to make it to Fredericksburg in time for the Bill Riley Competition that my daughter will be competing in that afternoon.  I stop at home to pick up Karissa and make sure Christian has a bite to eat before he heads off to the ball diamond to get ready for his evening baseball games.  My mother pulls into the driveway shortly after me and we anxiously await my husband who is racing home from the river with an unloaded semi to make it in time for the competition as well.  Whew ... it is nothing short of a miracle when we all manage to be buckled in and heading down the road just a few minutes behind schedule!  

Once we arrive in Fredericksburg, we are joined by others from the dance studio, as well as Karissa's Aunt Holly, as we check in and wait for the competition to begin.  As we watch the commotion from our lawn chairs beneath a tent, I feel a cool breeze and realize that it is much chillier than I had expected.  I guess I didn't need quite so much sunscreen after all!

The competition begins and I am amazed at all the talented performers ... from piano players to vocalists to gymnasts and dancers ... the performers compete as their names are called one by one.  As the final performers in their division, Karissa's and her partner, Brooke's names are finally called to "be on deck" and my mother and I move closer to the stage to get a better view and take some photos.  The sun becomes much brighter as we move out from under the tent and I adjust the viewfinder on my camera to accommodate.  The announcer finally states their names and they enter the stage.  Through the quiet hum of the crowd, I zoom in for a closeup as the music is about to begin.  I snap a few pictures as the girls stand in position, their bright green costumes glistening in the sun.  The melody bursts from the stereo and the girls begin with a smile.  The music flows through them as their tap shoes move in unison with every heel-toe, shuffle and turn.    Each move seems effortless as they dance with poise and ease and they clap along to the beat.  As the music comes to a close, they lift their arms into a final pose with a smile.  I glance at the judges to see if I can assess their opinions and then I quickly turn my attention back to the girls.  The audience (at least the ones under the Expressions Dance Studio tent) launch into cheers and applause!!  My heart is full of pride as I meet the girls coming down from the stage and I congratulate them on their awesome performance.  I snap a photo of the two of them together as we wait for the judges to make their decisions.  After what seems like an eternity, the announcer finally comes on stage with the results.  First they announce third place, which goes to another group of dancers from the dance studio.  Way to go girls!  Next, we hear the words ... "Second place goes to the Tap Dance Duo of Karissa Kleve and Brooke Herold."  Woo hoo!!!  We cheer loudly and applaud with pride.  I move toward the stage once again with my camera to get a photo of the girls with their fellow winners.  First place goes to a well deserving young gymnast/dancer from Iowa.  I snap a photo of all the girls on stage as they proudly accept their ribbons.  Pretty impressive for the first competition of the summer!  Way to go girls!!  :)

After photos, congratulatory remarks and pats on the back, we fold up our chairs and head to the van to head for home.  As we drive, we can't help but sing along to the silly song that one of the contestants danced to during the competition ... "Butterfly driving a truck" ... the words become catchier every time we sing them and we can't get the song out of our minds.... "butterfly driving a truck" ...

Upon returning home, Karissa quickly changes her clothes and we trade in our lawn chairs for bleacher seats and head to the ball diamond to watch Christian and his team.  The first game is a JV (Varsity Reserve) game and we eagerly watch as Christian takes the field.  His favorite position is catcher and he does a good job at it too.  As we watch, the pitcher and catcher find their rhythm and then Christian pops up from his squatting position to grab a ball that was higher than the pitcher had intended.  As strike after strike pass the plate, a getaway ball lands in the dirt and dust flies as Christian stops it with his entire body.  "Nice block, Christian" I hear someone say from the stands.  Eventually a ball is hit to the outfield and a runner makes it to first base.  He steals and slides into second base about the same time as the ball hits the second baseman's glove... "he's out!" I hear my mother-in-law exclaim with excitement ... however, the umpire disagrees and the runner takes his base brushing himself off from the slide.  The game goes on and on with hits and strikes and outs and runs as we cheer from the stands.  Karissa holds out her hand for money for concessions and I send her to my husband for change.  As I watch him hand her a couple dollar bills, I try to recall if she has a game tomorrow ... I wonder if she will pitch again.  I focus my attention back to the ball field.  Time has passed and our team is now up to bat.  There are two outs, a batter is up and Christian is on deck with his bat.  The anticipation is overwhelming as my heart goes out to the batters ... I grunt with each throw of the pitch and each swing of the bat....

The game goes on and on to the top and bottom of each inning ... I think we have a chance to win this thing!!  Our team once again takes the field.  As the pitcher throws a few warmup pitches, I lean over to my sister-in-law and sing "Butterfly driving a truck" ... I think it has been a long day!! :)        

The JV game comes to a close and the Varsity team takes the field to warm up ... I am beaming with pride as Christian takes the field with the team for warmups and dons the catchers gear once again.  They announce the names of the starting players and they run onto the field...

As the crowd rises from the bleachers and faces the flag, I glance with pride at the baseball field.  Christian stands strong in his catchers gear with his teammates.  Karissa whispers in my ear, attempting to sing along with the National Anthem using the incorrect words she used when she was a small child ...  "...Babe Ruth through the night, that our flag was still there..." I smile at her as we share the memory.  I sense my husband beside me respectfully holding his cap in his hand as I am surrounded by family and other South Winn fans.  It has been a perfect summer day ... and I am having a ball!!