Let There Be Peace

I am up early today … partly because I thoroughly enjoy a cup of coffee when the house is still quiet, but also because I need to regroup and get things done after a long, busy week, as I get ready to greet another jam-packed day.  Yes, it is December, and the Christmas season is upon us.  Life as a working mother can be very hectic to begin with, and as women we often strive for perfection.  But for some reason, most of us tend to put even higher expectations on ourselves this time of year  -- expectations that are often not even obtainable.  Why do we do this to ourselves?

By the day after Thanksgiving, we begin spending money and time shopping for the perfect gifts to make our family members, close friends and even clients happy.  We suddenly think we are Martha Stewart and attempt to find time to decorate our houses with lights and garland and trees.  We aspire to be Betty Crocker to make cut out cookies and gingerbread men and a variety of Christmassy treats, and our social calendars fill up with holiday events despite our prior engagements.  In a frenzy of busyness, we attempt to make the season perfect -- but why?  

Life is not a race nor a competition.  It is not a Hallmark Movie or a Disney Fairytale.  Despite our best efforts, we will disappoint people (usually those we love most), we will make mistakes, we will offend  people, and some may disapprove of our decisions and our actions.  We can not do it all … we can not be two places at once … we can not do more than time will allow… and we can’t control our circumstances or other people.  We need to let our unachievable expectations slide ... we need to simply try our best, keep realistic goals and remember that life is sometimes beyond our control.  

It is important to remember the true meaning of Christmas.  Imagine how Joseph must have felt that first Christmas Eve, trying to provide for his family while circumstances were beyond his control.  Imagine the high expectations on Mary, being the mother to the son of God.  But yet in the simple shelter of a stable on Christmas Eve, they had peace and gladness in their hearts …      

I invite you to join me this Christmas season (and all throughout the year) in setting aside our impossible expectations, ill-shaped (or boughten or even unattempted) cutout cookies, lopsided trees and empty pocket books.  Let’s let go of our unfinished tasks, unmet ideals, feelings of guilt and fear of disappointing others.  Let’s remember the true meaning of Christmas and enjoy each moment from this day forward ... 

Please join me today in proclaiming "Let there be Peace on earth -- and let it begin with me!"

Traditions

As my children sleep soundly in their bedrooms and my husband begins his morning farm routine, I serenely enjoy a cup of hot coffee in the quiet of my livingroom.  Today, as always on the first Sunday in December, Shawn and I and the kids will soon be enjoying our annual “Christmas Tree Family Day” as we like to call it.  Since the kids were very small, we have enjoyed the tradition of putting up the tree and decorating it with lights as well as special, memorable ornaments that we each hold dear … and of course, taking our annual, family photograph in front of the tree will make the moment complete.  Later in the evening, we will drive around to other towns taking in the sights of a variety of Christmas lights, stopping to eat pizza at Pizza Hut and enjoying the rest of the evening as night unfolds…  

But for now … still in my jammies, I take a sip of my coffee and try to conjure up enough ambition to take a shower and head downstairs to gather up the Christmas decorations before the rest of the family joins me.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I am an ardent traditionalist – always planning family activities for the sake of tradition.  Traditions can be a joyous thing – making lasting family memories and providing something to hang on to as the years fly by too quickly.  Traditions can be found in such things as special routines and rituals, heirloom decorations and favorite recipes shared throughout the years.  

But as with anything in life, time brings us on a journey that eventually requires even traditions to evolve with the passing of time.  Children grow and people and circumstances change due to a variety of reasons including marriages, divorces, relocations, births and, unfortunately, even deaths.  As people come in and out of our lives, the traditions we thought we would hold tight to forever may need to be adjusted, set aside for a while, or even replaced by new ones.  As this happens, we need to remember to cherish each moment for what it is and count our blessings for everything, including our family members – those still joyfully partaking in traditions with us each day as well as those who are with us in spirit – still alive in our memories of traditions from yester-year.  

Amid boxes, I unwrap ornament after ornament and let the memories flow. I smile to myself as I recall our past Christmas Tree Family Days and get ready to embark on another year of tradition today.  Yes, each year is engraved with lasting memories and gently marked by changing traditions with the passing of time.  As we move on with our lives, we cling to what we can from our traditions … bringing with us decorations from home as we move miles away, putting a special star on top of the tree from many years ago, and telling stories to our children as they grow old enough to understand, while the aromas and flavors of our favorite recipes fill the holidays.  Although “Christmas Tree Family Day” may someday need to be moved to a different day (or even month) in later years to come, the ideals, the memories, and the sense of family will remain … and maybe, in time, we’ll be able to enjoy Adam’s favorite peanut clusters at Christmas again with a smile…